I live in the greater Seattle region and we just gave birth to the world’s newest country (no. 196) called CHAZ. This area is home to Boeing, Amazon, Microsoft, Starbucks, Zillow, Costco, Nordstrom, T-Mobile, Expedia, Nirvana, Jimi Hendrix, Bruce Lee’s grave and much more. Yet CHAZ is surely Seattle’s proudest moment ever?
Earlier this month, the National Guard arrived in Seattle due to looting and ransacking of the most popular nearby high-end mall. Not to mention total chaos in the downtown core itself. The high-end mall looting occurred at exactly the same time as the local police inspector was prostrating to a crowd just several hundred meters away. A successful decoy tactic by some of the protesters + looters in partnership?
The controversial mall owner is not causing anyone to shed tears. However, I do feel sympathy for numerous smaller retail shop owners in my region and throughout the US. Instead of a hair loss cure, 2020 has brought us armageddon.
Our Seattle Mayor calls this whole tragic situation the summer of love. Our Governor pretends to be totally oblivious about the new breakaway country of CHAZ. Our third most powerful politician aims to make this country permanently independent from the police and tax Amazon till it leaves. Our most popular video on Youtube is called “Seattle is Dying“. I always stay calm by drinking Mac and Jack’s African Amber Ale. It is only available locally in draft.
As Long as you have Hair, Death is Okay
The wise Elton John once stated that even if you are being burglarized and murdered, by far the most pressing concern is hair. You need to make sure that your dead body is shown in newspapers with a full head of hair the next day. You do not want the looters to kill you while you have not hidden any signs of baldness. This is much better advice than buying guns, which I refuse to do.
By his own admission, Elton John’s most valuable possession is his great hairpiece. His past bad hair transplants did not work out well at all, but the hairpiece is fabulous.
Hair Transplants Booming
It should be noted that hair transplants have improved drastically in the decades since Mr. John had his mishaps. Hair restoration surgery articles and hair transplant news have been especially frequently these past few weeks.
As always, British newspapers cover these kinds of topics far more thoroughly than US media. Many of the US readers will not recognize some of the celebrities mentioned below. In chronological order:
- On May 12, British football (soccer) superstar David Beckham made an appearance with very thinning hair. Perhaps his 2018 hair transplant rumors were incorrect.
- Actor Cheyenne Jackson’s hair loss story is quite moving and was widely covered in the US. His strip hair transplant surgery scar is a result of 5 hair transplant surgeries spread across 14 years. Hair loss and hiding his strip scar have both effected him very deeply.
- Australian cricket legend Shane Warne believes that he is the leading force in ending the stigma around hair transplants. I did not realize that Mr. Warne suffered so much in front of the cameras as a professional athlete and celebrity. He is an ambassador for Advanced Hair Studio.
- Also from the UK, 25-year old Stuart Scott got a hair transplant after suffering from hair loss since his teens. The final straw was when a women on Plenty of Fish rejected him due to his baldness. Now he gets far more interest from women due to his increased scalp coverage. His hair transplant cost was “more than £2000”.
- Hollyoaks star Stephanie Davis is pleased with her British Hair Clinic hair transplant results. She used to be bullied due to her her high hairline.
- 31-year old boxer Tyson Fury does not care about his hair loss. He has refused numerous free hair transplant offers from leading clinics. Well down Mr. Fury.
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